my son has Autism, he is not rude

Like every typical child his age, Andrew has behavioral issues: he does not follow request, has little tantrums, tells you inappropriate things. The fact that he has Autism makes these behaviors more pronounced. Recently, some people made the hurtful comment that my son is rude and that he needs harsh discipline. I have learned not to judge others too quickly based on a quick observation; I wish more people would too.

 

 

Do not cut my toes off!

Andrew HATES to have his toe nails cut. Whenever we need to cut Andrew's toe nails, my husband and I need a plan. After Andrew's bath, we lay him on the bed, start laughing with him to put him in a good mood. Then, both of us position ourselves around him. Afterward, we we tell him the sentence he does NOT want to hear: "Andrew, baby, papa and mommy are going to cut your toe nails. It does not hurt, it is fun, you will see!".
Andrew screams, "NO, NO, don't cut my toes off!!". We have him count to twenty while we cut his nails. No need to tell you that I have to hold Andrew down on the bed with both of my hands because he moves so much that he would fly out of the room.
While he is screaming and moving around, my husband cuts some of his nails. Sometimes, we cannot do all of it at one time; other times, we only trim his toe nails a little bit... We tried to do it when he sleeps but it woke him up and after were sorry we ever woke him up!
When the medieval torture is over, Andrew is MAD at us. He tells us to go to time out, to go to our room, that we are mean. "Mean mommy! go to your room!" "papa, you're mean!! go to time out!!". We just put Andrew in bed, close the door and tell him "nite nite"... Behind the closed door, we can still hear "mean mommy" "mean papa"...

hair cut??

There is one thing Andrew cannot stand: TO GET A HAIR CUT! I remember the first time, we took him to a barber. The poor child, screamed so loud that people around him started to get worried about getting their hair cut at that place. He would not even sit on the chair, so we took him home.
We sat him on a high chair and put his favorite tv show on. We asked his brother to make him laugh while my husband would start cutting his hair. After a few minutes, Andrew figured out that we were tricking him into something not fun. He started once again screaming, moving in such a way that cutting his hair was simply impossible.
What could we do? The child looked like he could be on the cover of a "Kool and the Gang" 40 years reunion...
So, I tried something else: cutting his hair in the shower when he has shampoo on his hair. I took scissors and started cutting, all was fine until he saw his hair falling in the tub. He started screaming because he was scared of seeing his black hair around his feet. He may have thought they were bugs. So I started picking his hair up from the tub each time I would cut a curl. I took me about 30 minutes but I gave Andrew a good trim. It does not look too bad and no one has made any bad comments regarding his hair style. Next, we need to trim his toe nails...

Andrew's interesting angle on life

 

Autistic vs. person living with Autism

"My child is autistic" is something you will never hear come out of my mouth. Like many other adjectives to describe people, they tend to reduce a person to a limiting characteristic.
If you have diabetes or bipolar disorder, would you rather be introduced as "My cousin Sofia who is schizophrenic", "my brother Pete who is diabetic" or as "my cousin Sofia with whom I have a good relationship" or "my brother Pete who is so nice"?
Society loves to label people:you are this or that. It creates for others a false sense of control over the unknown. What should you expect when you meet someone? If you have basic information, then you feel you have more control.
"Austistic" is an adjective that describes a permanent and inherent characteristic of a person. Is Andrew "a sweet, funny, loving little boy with Autism" or is he "autistic"? Autism does not qualify and describe who Andrew is, just like diabetes, high blood pressure or bipolar disorder does. Yes, Andrew "has" Autism, but Autism does not define who he is. If someone refers as someone else as "Autistic", please tell them to refer to this person as someone living with Autism.