Do not cut my toes off!

Andrew HATES to have his toe nails cut. Whenever we need to cut Andrew's toe nails, my husband and I need a plan. After Andrew's bath, we lay him on the bed, start laughing with him to put him in a good mood. Then, both of us position ourselves around him. Afterward, we we tell him the sentence he does NOT want to hear: "Andrew, baby, papa and mommy are going to cut your toe nails. It does not hurt, it is fun, you will see!".
Andrew screams, "NO, NO, don't cut my toes off!!". We have him count to twenty while we cut his nails. No need to tell you that I have to hold Andrew down on the bed with both of my hands because he moves so much that he would fly out of the room.
While he is screaming and moving around, my husband cuts some of his nails. Sometimes, we cannot do all of it at one time; other times, we only trim his toe nails a little bit... We tried to do it when he sleeps but it woke him up and after were sorry we ever woke him up!
When the medieval torture is over, Andrew is MAD at us. He tells us to go to time out, to go to our room, that we are mean. "Mean mommy! go to your room!" "papa, you're mean!! go to time out!!". We just put Andrew in bed, close the door and tell him "nite nite"... Behind the closed door, we can still hear "mean mommy" "mean papa"...

hair cut??

There is one thing Andrew cannot stand: TO GET A HAIR CUT! I remember the first time, we took him to a barber. The poor child, screamed so loud that people around him started to get worried about getting their hair cut at that place. He would not even sit on the chair, so we took him home.
We sat him on a high chair and put his favorite tv show on. We asked his brother to make him laugh while my husband would start cutting his hair. After a few minutes, Andrew figured out that we were tricking him into something not fun. He started once again screaming, moving in such a way that cutting his hair was simply impossible.
What could we do? The child looked like he could be on the cover of a "Kool and the Gang" 40 years reunion...
So, I tried something else: cutting his hair in the shower when he has shampoo on his hair. I took scissors and started cutting, all was fine until he saw his hair falling in the tub. He started screaming because he was scared of seeing his black hair around his feet. He may have thought they were bugs. So I started picking his hair up from the tub each time I would cut a curl. I took me about 30 minutes but I gave Andrew a good trim. It does not look too bad and no one has made any bad comments regarding his hair style. Next, we need to trim his toe nails...

Andrew's interesting angle on life